The Secrets We Keep: A Journey Of Grief And Healing

I’ve been writing this piece in my mind for a few months now. For reasons unknown, the words just haven’t been coming. I write when the fire’s hot and when it’s not I have a habit of leaving it unattended, hence why this post is 3 months in the making.  I’ve come to accept that this post, like the experiences associated with it, is never-ending.  So for the purpose of documenting this story it’s important for me to share it as I remember it, while I remember it.

In the Fall of last year “The Incident” happened.  That’s the name Tommy and I use when we talk about it. On September 25th, 2016 Tommy – a healthy 30 year old male who’s active in sports and who has no prior heart-related issues in his family history – went into sudden cardiac arrest which led to him being in a coma for 5 days. Instantaneously my world was turned upside down.  Probably the most disturbing and unsettling factor about the entire thing is that The Incident happened with no tell-tale signs or warnings. Doctors told us there was basically no way we could have prevented this from happening.  I’m 28 years old.  I haven’t had much exposure to loss or grief, but it’s safe to say The Incident made up for 7 lifetimes of it.  What happened following The Incident was a string of heartbreak and lessons learned.  This is my attempt to document those lessons.